Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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