started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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