just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize