he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
