Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
