I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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