well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
