i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Your cock deserves a montage
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
