actually, I'm a sock model
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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