But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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