Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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