My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
