yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
