i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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