Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
