Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
