im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
