were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
