It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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