3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
