your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize