Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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