East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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