I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there was a trapeze. enough said
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize