I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize