They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize