we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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