Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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