member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
