When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize