Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
