My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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