We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
