i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize