i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
