After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
