as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm always down for nudity.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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