Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
