my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize