areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
