I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
