I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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