I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
