Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
