We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
