I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
