Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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