Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
