apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
