there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
