I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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