Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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