were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
