if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
