I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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