so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
