All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And then the night went full on bisexual.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
