Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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