Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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