Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
