tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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