No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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