i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
