I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
